Archive for August, 2011

Feck Off Love

Posted: August 9, 2011 in Funny Stuff
Tags: , , , ,

There is a lot of emphasis put on how women are supposedly happier in relationships.  Happily ever after blah blah blah…  I don’t think this is always the case.  What if they are with the wrong person?  Not so happy campers then… I met lots of lovely couples on my travels who had been with each other for more than thirty years, had kids and seemed happily married.  I mean, I don’t know what goes on behind closed doors but they seemed happy enough to still hang out and have a laugh together.   I looked around and whispered “What’s your secret?”  As if it was a magic potion or a pill I could acquire after agreeing a deal.  I know it’s not unheard of people to try and cast a love spell.  I got lots of similar type responses like “being best friends” or “good communication” and quite reasonably “just liking each other” and “respecting one another daily”.  Maybe I was looking for a quick fix answer and there is no such thing.  I think “hard work” should be in there too.  I decided to come up with a few reasons “Why it’s great to be single” sometimes and not always in a relationship.

1)  You don’t have to watch football, Rugby or any sporting event in general and pretend to care…

2)  You don’t have to put up with unusual smells emanating from all areas

3)  You don’t have to queue to use your own bathroom

4)  You can get a good night’s sleep without waking up thinking a fog horn has gone off

5)  You can skip watching the News and watch Desperate Housewives instead

6)  You can look at frazzled couples with their kids in tow and think “I’m glad I was born after the sixties”

7)  You don’t have to sit in a car arguing over inane topics like who almost crashed the car into who…

8)  You can skip dinner and eat cereal instead

9)  You can have conversation over cereal with someone who answers back i.e. a girlfriend who can talk and eat at the same time, multitasking pro that she is…

10)  You can do whatever you want whenever you want e.g. you don’t need to fake a headache

Many of my girlfriends say the one thing they miss when they are not in a relationship is cuddles.  Cuddles.  That’s it.  Is that all men are good for?  Only when they are about to drop off to sleep.  I think I agree.  I blame the fact that we are reptilian like creatures who are very cold blooded and at night, we need someone to warm us up.  I think I will invest in a good hot water bottle and remember the list above… So, Feck off love.