Posted: April 17, 2011 in Funny Stuff, Travel Stuff
Tags: , , ,

I’m writing backwards.  I hope you don’t mind.  I hope I remember it all, if my mind allows it.  I have some things written down.  I have been travelling around Australia for a while now.  Reliving my misspent youth.  I must be the oldest backpacker around with nearly the widest backside, I mean Backpack… It’s been interesting and fun to find out I can still hang with the young one’s.  The most common age is 19/20.  They tell me I look 26.  I buy them a drink.  I first came to Melbourne when I was 18 & was the youngest employee in the Irish Pub I worked in.  I never got to travel around.  I spent all my wages on fun i.e. Alcohol.  This time, I got on a guided OZ Experience bus tour & went up with the eastcoast in a rapid few weeks.  The guides were a bit mental with names like wings and princess.  It really was 12 hours most days.  ON A BUS!  A rickety one at that.  I learned to try and get on first at 6am to avoid the seats at the back where no one gets naps.  We did stop for food & toilet breaks, swimming & frisbee and quick guided visits to different stuff on the way up e.g. wildlife parks, war museum & the Parliament in Canberra.  Canberra is the capital of Australia.  Who knew? See, I did learn something along the way.  Geography was never my strong point.  So, I didn’t really consider how long it would take to get across Australia vertically on a bus.

I had different tours booked along the way.  I was told these were the highlights.  Not to be missed.  Bit of surfing, sailing and a Fraser Island tour booked on Paddy’s day.    I would later come to regret this decision.

I got overly excited the night before Paddy’s day and celebrated a bit too early and slept out for my Fraser Island trip the next day.  Oops… I still have the voucher so may get there again before I leave.  You get to drive a 4WD and see lots of dingo’s while camping on the Island.  Sounds pretty good to me…

The highlight for me so far down under was the two day sailing trip at Whitsundays just off Airlie Beach.  Beautiful Islands, beaches and amazing snorkelling.  The captain Mick and guides were great fun! They had a bet on who would get sunburnt first… It was between me and two fair Welsh girls.  The captain put money on me and of course, typical paddy that I am, I enabled him to win the bet as my pasty Irish skin went lobster red fast!  Scarlet…Not nearly as scarlet as I was later when I flashed my naked white ass to the captain… I heard a knock on the door of the shower and in my screaming, arms flailing, panicked state, I accidentily unlatched the door with my elbows and flashed him… He said that he looked away once he heard the screaming and saw arms flailing.  Another witness to the incident, laughed at such niceties and said you couldn’t miss it as it was so huge.  My white ass that is.  Scarlet… I really do need to work on my tan lines.

  A great trip was had even if my hat went flying off the boat that night & I flashed the captain & got burnt, I met lots of great lads & lassies who were up for the craic… Past tense now though, now trying to work up the nerve to do a skydive or a bungee jump like in the video… I bid you adieu in my stinger suit which looks not unlike the power ranger collection…Scarlet.


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